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Capture Your Grief 2013 - Myth
I am not wallowing in my grief. It is not detrimental to be an active participant in the pain.
Even if I choose not to include her in my life, she still existed. By ignoring the grief, I give it the chance to sneak up on me and consume me when I least expect it.
I can't help but think of her at every holiday. She should be here. I include her because we should have had a lifetime of holidays together.
I post pictures.
I write about her.
I talk about her with her siblings.
I mention her when any discussion of my children comes up.
I could pick a different vice.
I could drink.
I could gamble.
I could be very angry.
I choose instead to grieve.
By allowing myself to feel this pain at the utmost level, I allow myself to feel every other emotion. If I shut down the grief, I also lose a lifetime of happiness, wonder, joy, and laughter.
Even if I put the pictures away, forget the smell of her blanket, and never say her name, she will not leave my heart.
I will never get over my baby.
I will never move on from my baby.
After I took this picture, it felt good to rip this piece of paper up.