This weekend, we'll be 30 weeks pregnant.
Someone asked me this past week if my pregnancy has been an anxious one. In all honestly, it hasn't been too bad.
I know D doesn't have the same diagnosis that V did. I know that if he had something else that concerned the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors, we would have known. The very best eyes who we trusted with both our girls (Yes, we had to go to MFM a few times for ultrasounds with E, too. We have never had a stress free pregnancy.) have looked at our boy. He is healthy.
At the same time, I expect the anxiety to come when we bring him home. I will be scared of SIDS the same way that I'm scared that E will choke. I know now that no matter how fiercely you love your kids and try to protect them, there are elements beyond your control as a parent. That fear will never go away. With postpartum hormones, I'm sure I'll be a really fun roller coaster of emotions.
Last night my husband worked late and E was in bed. Alone, I was really missing V and wanting D to just be here already. The waiting is getting a bit difficult, especially with V's birthday approaching. At the same time, I am cherishing every day left where it's just me and my best buddy E. She's so excited for her brother, too. It will be such a beautiful transition to bring him home.
So that is where we are as we approach the final trimester of our rainbow pregnancy. Not anxious yet, just hopeful, and ready to meet our little guy.
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