Still Playing School: rainbow baby

The Genetics of Red Hair

By Devany | Labels: 8 Comments
We get a lot of comments about D's red hair.  The first was just seconds after he was born, from our favorite anesthetist, Doug, who was present for all three of our children's c-sections.  I'll never forget him asking, "Is that...red hair?"


It was difficult to tell immediately, but after his first bath there was no denying it.  We had a ginger!  After E's jet black hair (at birth) and Violet's brown, we were shocked and the fact still hasn't sunk in completely.


We get at least one comment everywhere we go, usually, "Where did his red hair come from?"  I always answer the same way, "We aren't entirely sure, but there is red hair on both sides from his great aunts.  But not...this red."

But as I do more research, what I really want to answer is, "From a MC1R recessive gene on his 16th chromosome."


It's also getting redder, I think.  Or more "orange," as E likes to correct people who call him a red head.

The most interesting facts I've researched in the last 6 months include:

- Mr. SPS and I must both have a recessive gene for red hair that we passed on to D.  One in four of our children will have red hair and half of them will be carriers for the hair color, even if they do not have the red hair themselves (like E).  The red never shows up unless you have children with someone else who also has a recessive gene, so that explains how it can skip several generations then show up as a surprise like it did with us!

- Despite what strangers like to tell me in making conversation, red hair is not becoming extinct or dying out.

- D is more likely to be left handed, have a lower tolerance for pain and need more anesthesia, and has an increased ability to make vitamin D from the sun.

As far as having a worse temper, the verdict is still out, at least with D.  He is the most pleasant boy you can imagine 99% of the time, but it does seem to me when he gets mad or really upset, he cries much harder than E ever did.  It's rare, but during these crying fits I often check to see if he's hurt because he is so very inconsolable.  His toddler tantrums should be a blast!

Do you have a child with red hair or does it run in your family?  Do you know any other interesting facts about red hair?

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Five Months Old: Haircut, Favorite Teethers


D turned 5 months old on Saturday.  He got his first haircut this weekend.



Maybe he won't be confused for a girl as much now.  E was around the same age when she had her first haircut, too.  Our babies have LOTS of hair (For 37 weeks, Violet, too).  


D is also teething so he's completely inconsolable at times.  Here are some teethers that we know and love:


Of course, Sophie the giraffe is a fan favorite.  She is a hand-me-down from E (so you know she's durable) and doubles as a toy.  She squeaks when you squeeze her.  Right now, D still has a bit of trouble getting her best chewy bits into his mouth (feet! ears! whole head!) but when I am assisting, he loves to munch on her.


We also recently ordered the Razbaby Razberry Teether.  I think D will like it more as he gets more teeth and gets bigger.  He uses it now because it easily hooks to a stroller or highchair with links, but I think he'll use it more in the future.  


But by far, D's favorite teether right now is the Tommee Tippee Chewther.  We actually ripped open the packaging before we had even paid for it at the store because he needed to gnaw on something!  It stays in his mouth well, comparable to a pacifier, but it looks like a mouth guard with textured surface.

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This post includes affiliate links, which means if you click and end up ordering, we get a small percentage back for recommending them to you.  As always, all opinions are 100% my own.
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CDP from Doing My Best

At the end of my rainbow pregnancy with D, I was emotionally exhausted, ready for him to be here safe in my arms, missing V, and feeling like I wasn't enjoying my last days alone with E.  I even went as far as to research prenatal (or antenatal) depression.  I was strung out on hormones and suffering from insomnia again like I did during my pregnancy with V.

During this time, without knowing my struggles, Doing My Best sent me the most perfect CDP.  It was full of individually wrapped gifts to open on particularly tough days (and brownie mix to bake as needed).  She is just THAT thoughtful.  I'd like to show you the awesomeness it contained in the hopes that you'll be able to spread the love on to someone else who is struggling in the form of a CDP when they most need it.

The first package contained these dinosaur themed burp cloths!  I love the way she crocheted the edging!


The next gift was a whole slew of cloth breastfeeding pads.  I was definitely looking forward to nursing D and anything re-usable is perfect for us!  These are made with 3 layers of fun printed flannel on one side and super soft and absorbent fleece on the other.  This picture doesn't showcase all of the pads, but the rest are currently in the wash.


There was a present for E which contained a Biscuit sticker book, a pony from Doing My Best's daughter's collection (awwww!), and lots of other goodies, including some of DMB's family's favorite books like Too Purpley! and The Hiccupotamus.  The Hiccapotamus book made me laugh out loud that night at bedtime when we discovered the biographical list of characters in the book at the end.  Laughs were the best medicine so this story ended up being a gift for me as well!

The final and best gift was this GORGEOUS blanket that she crocheted!


There is little heart details on each square and it's rainbow, but still boyish enough to be for D.  I love, love, love this.  My heart is so thankful every time I think about how long this must have taken her, how she worked on it for someone she "met" through blogging, how sweet it was of her to make for us.  


Thank you for allowing me to introduce you to my talented and generous friend who made the last few weeks of my pregnancy more tolerable.  Now, let's all go bother her to post tutorials for all of these handmade gifts!  
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Infant Language Development: 3 Months Cooing and Babbling


Baby D is 3 months old.  In addition to cooing, he is also starting to babble.  Cooing is the vowel sounds: oooooooh, aaaaaaaah, while babbling is the introduction of some consonant sounds.  Lately we are hearing a lot more gaaaaaa, goooooooo, and maaaaaaaaa.

E is an amazing big sister (again!) so we've been coaching her on how to help D learn to talk with the following tips, which are helpful for siblings and adults alike.  Of course, we don't give E all the child development reasoning, but we do tell her she's an awesome big sister!

- E will tell me that D is crying when he makes any sounds.  I had to explain to her that sometimes what sounds like fussing is actually him just practicing his "words".

- When D makes some of his pre-linguistic sounds, we repeat the same sounds back to him.  We can also teach real words by saying some that start with the same sound.
D: "Maaaaaaaaaaa!"
E: "Maaaaaaa!  Yes, Momma!  Mommy is in the kitchen."
We know that he isn't asking for me yet, but I can step in then and wave to him.  This allows him to begin to recognize that the sounds he is making can be put together to mean something.  It's also great initial sound practice for E.  "D said gaaaaaaa.  What can we show him that starts with a /g/ sound?"

-  After D makes a sound, we answer, then we wait for him to respond.  This verbal back and forth sets the stage for the turn taking of conversations.  He is learning expressive and receptive language.  One study shows that 4 month old infants who have pre-linguistic turn taking with an adult have greater cognitive ability when they are 2 years old.

- E shows D objects around the house while telling him their names.  Adults can do this by carrying the baby to different rooms to take in new sights, but E needs to stick to bringing things to him.  "Look, baby D, this is Cowie!  Cowie is a cow.  Mooooooo!"

- Today she also showed him her sippy cup and signed "milk" to him!  I was so excited that she remembered the sign, but then she did the same sign for grape juice and duck, so obviously we need a refresher course on baby sign language.

Not only do these exercises allow my kids to interact while I may be occupied with other things, but we are also teaching D to use other sounds (instead of crying) to get our attention.

Here are some great sample infant sound recordings!


Before I know it, they really will be whispering secrets to each other!
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A Response to our Rainbow Delivery

I was asked to write a letter to our hospital regarding some issues we had during D's delivery.  I am publishing it here as well in the hopes that it may reach other hospitals and families.  Please contact me if you have any further questions or would like to know more about our birth plan and/or experience!

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To Whom It May Concern:

In December of 2012, I delivered my “rainbow” baby at (name of facility). A year prior, his sister was also born there and lived 2.5 days, her entire life, at this same hospital. We knew during our pregnancy with her that she would not live long. Anticipating the emotions and triggers that might be present when delivering a new baby after a neonatal loss, I wrote out a detailed birth plan for my son's arrival. In it, I asked that all staff handling our care be aware of our situation so that they would understand why this time was highly stressful. It was not to be a typical birth and delivery. While welcoming our son into the world, our daughter would feel very close. We welcomed that but also knew it would bring up fresh waves of grief. I also knew I wouldn't be up to telling her story over and over again to explain why this was so.

Delivery went well and was uneventful, except for the fact that I immediately started noticing that the nurses prepping me had not read our birth plan. They did not know about our daughter, but then did mention recalling our delivery of her once I brought it up.

In recovery, they noticed that our son was having some breathing issues, most likely due to the c-section. He was able to remain with us to be monitored for this, but throughout our stay his gagging and choking reminded me so much of our daughter's apnea episodes before she passed away. He resembled her at birth which was a gift, but also added to these flashbacks. I was having extreme emotional reactions to watching him struggle even though I knew he was essentially healthy and fine.

I received conflicting instructions from nurses regarding what to do when he was struggling to breathe. Some said to pull the emergency chain, then when we did other nurses seemed put out that we were reacting so severely to routine c-section recovery issues. Clearly, staff was not reading our birth plan. When asked about this, I found out that this was indeed the case. Since we were in recovery, they figured our birth plan was no longer pertinent. From that point on, I asked that each nurse tell the next coming on duty of our story, but again, I feel like this should have been a time when I could focus on my health, my son's, and grieving our daughter instead of informing nurses of our situation.

When we delivered my daughter, we knew she would pass away. The palliative care team at the hospital was superb, helping us prepare, and marking our room and files with a butterfly to signify our special circumstances. I suggest that rainbow deliveries be marked in the same way with a rainbow.

Some nurses also told me that they didn't take grief and bereavement training because they were in couplet care. Once a mother and baby are there, it is because everything is fine. Because of this, these nurses rarely dealt with the still births or fatal prenatal diagnosed babies.

I welcome the opportunity to share our story and experience with staff in the future in order to better educate them about the delicate situation of a rainbow delivery.
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Welcome Baby D

He's here!


D was born on 12-4-12 at 8:00 am.  He is 8 lbs., 8 oz. and 21 1/2" long.  He shocked us all with his red hair!


He looks so much like his sister Violet.


Big sister, E, couldn't be happier.  Last night she held him and told him, "You're the best baby ever!"

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Unique and Lovingly Made Nursery Artwork

By Devany | Labels: 2 Comments
I've been wanting to write about this for awhile, but lately writing is just not happening.  I still need to share a whole post about our gender reveals, our baby shower, and write another guest post for Lebanon Macaroni Kid before D arrives.

When we were expecting E, I asked all of our friends and family to make a
5" x 7" piece of artwork in the theme of her nursery: sea turtles.


Can you find my sister's pun?


These turned out so much better than I ever imagined.  Each piece took on the personality of the artist, from my dad's wood burning to my nephew's talented shading.  They still hang in her room and I love them so very much.


When she eventually outgrows this theme, I can put them all into a scrapbook for her.


Now we are doing the same for D, but with robots.  We received our first piece yesterday from my dear friend Michelle!  I was so excited to get one!


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