Mother's Day can be heartbreaking and bittersweet to bereaved mothers. To soften the emotional burden of that holiday, the first Sunday in May is reserved specifically for those of us that have lost children to think of our missed babies, reflect on how they have changed us as mothers, and have a quiet day specifically with this special relationship in mind.
In additional to celebrating Violet and all she's taught me today, I am also taking the time to speak out about how grateful I am for my community of other grieving mommas. Very often (even just this past Friday) something happens in my every day life and I know that only they can relate. Being able to reach out (both online and in person) and be understood, being able to feel comfortable exactly as I am looking into eyes that reflect the same (often misunderstood) love and pain back at me, is uniquely priceless.
I want to also thank those of you who haven't lost a child, but have none the less supported me beautifully in the past (almost) two years. You have silently worn wristbands in memory of Violet, you have spoken her name to us, you have sent us pictures that remind you of her, you have put us in touch with other healing families, and most importantly, you have remembered and missed and grieved her with us. I can't count the times that something you've said or done or written about her has carried me through a difficult day.
This year on International Bereaved Mother's Day, Still Standing Magazine has put out the call to all bereaved mothers to break the silence of our grief by posting pictures of ourselves today to show the world we are still standing after the death of our child.
Here we are on the way to the park yesterday. I wasn't planning on this being my picture for the Still Standing project, but it's perfect. We spent time playing at the playground as a family and I thought of her who was missing. I always, always do.
Violet, your absence is deafening, but it's changed me in positive ways. I'm a different person, mother, wife, and friend. Thank you, my sweet girl. I miss you so much every day.