Still Playing School: Remembering Violet

Remembering Violet

By Devany | Labels: 18 Comments

Our infant daughter, Violet, passed away in November 2011 after 2.5 days of life.  We learned in July 2011, during a routine ultrasound, that due to a heart defect her time with us would be brief.  We decided to carry her to term, knowing that she may be stillborn, but hoping that we would get some time to meet her.  We are very grateful that we did get a few days with her.  We didn't know if we would meet her alive and if we did if we were planning for hours, days, or weeks.  We had to plan her funeral arrangements and buy baby clothing at the same time.  It was a bittersweet journey to be mourning her even though we had yet to meet her.  

Violet's Story:

Read more about our grieving journey:
A Long, Sad Hiatus
Who Was I Then? Who Am I Now?
Mama Loves Baby
And She Was There
Missing V
A Fundraiser in V's Memory
Small Gestures, Lasting Impacts
Guest Posting at Small Bird Studios
Grief is Sneaky
What Might Have Been
Blog Challenge #3
The Question
When You're Sleeping
A Grief Day
Working Through the Grief
6 Months
A Grief Update
More Than Neighbors
Missing Her, The Moon, Musings
Capture Your Grief - Day 1 & 2
Capture Your Grief - Day 3 & 4
Capture Your Grief - Day 5
Capture Your Grief - Day 6
Capture Your Grief - Day 7
Capture Your Grief - Day 8, 9, & 10
Capture Your Grief - Day 11
Capture Your Grief - Day 12
Capture Your Grief - Day 13, 14, & 15
Capture Your Grief - Day 16
Capture Your Grief - Day 17, 18, 19, & 20
Capture Your Grief - Day 21, 22, & 23
Capture Your Grief - Day 24
Capture Your Grief - Day 25 & 26
Capture Your Grief - Day 27
Capture Your Grief - Day 28, 29, & 30
Goodbye October, Hello November
Happy Birthday, Sweet Girl
A Night for Violet
The Simultaneousness of Grief
International Bereaved Mother's Day
Some Days
Creating a Grieving Book for Children
A New Blog: The Beauty of the Bereaved
Breaking Point
Grief Stops You in Your Tracks

We are always working on ways to remember Violet:
- In April 2012, we planned a Zumba Fitness fundraiser in memory of Violet.

We raised $4,208 which will help 28 families receive the same gift we received during our pregnancy. Read more about how this event was organized.  All proceeds benefited Sustaining Grace - One foundation that helped us during our pregnancy was the non-profit organization Sustaining Grace.  This organization was founded by parents whose daughter, Grace, was also diagnosed with a fatal condition.  Grace was stillborn so the only time they got to see her move and grow was during ultrasounds.  They gifted us with a non-medical ultrasound so that we would have time to see and get to know Violet while she was still safe inside of me.  From this ultrasound, we now have pictures and videos of her to cherish forever.  They also provided us with a teddy bear that plays a recording of Violet’s heartbeat taken during the pregnancy, which is now so comforting since we can’t hold her and listen to her heart any longer.  

- In June 2012, we donated a box of embossing supplies to the hospital where we delivered Violet.

In honor of the care so carefully gifted to us there and to dedicate something to the sole place where Violet spent her whole life, we wanted the hospital to have these materials so that other families will have a special way to keep their babies' perfect hand and foot prints forever.

- In November 2012, we celebrated Violet's first birthday by asking friends/family to perform Random Acts of Kindness

- In November 2013, we celebrated Violet's second birthday by asking freinds/family to spell her name out for us and send us a photo.


  1. I think these are absolutely beautiful, tangible ways that you're remembering your daughter. I'm very sorry for your loss. Found you at GITW.

  2. I didn't think to do embossed hand and footprints! What a GREAT idea! But I do have Evan's beautiful footprint in my Bible forever. What a sweet gift you've given the hospital and all of the parents who will benefit from this, in memory of your precious girl who continues to touch people every day. SHE is a gift!!

  3. I found the link to your blog on the CTT Babycenter forum. I just wanted to say that your little Violet is absolutely precious! I love all the ways you've honored her beautiful life.

  4. What a beautiful child. She's looking down watching her sweet big sister and most adorable little brother. I am inspired by you Devany. You are so encouraging. So sorry for your loss.

  5. What a beautiful girl! I'm sorry for your loss, but I love all the ways you are choosing to remember your sweet little baby.

  6. You're so brave you share your story. I have tears in my eyes and a deep pain in my heart for you and your family. Huge hugs.

  7. This is so beautiful. Blessings to you as you continue to love and remember your sweet and precious girl.

  8. I just got around to reading more on your blog. This is beautiful I love the way you are remembering her. You bring tears to my eyes as I read this. I look forward to knowing more about you.
    Thank you for sharing your story.

  9. I am very sorry for your loss. This is such a bitter-sweet story, and I think that your ways to remember her are beautiful. On a happier note, your blog is beautiful, and I will definitely be trying them out!

  10. I heard you on WITF this morning. Glad you are doing so much to remember Violet.

  11. Thank you for your comment on my blog - I'm so sorry to see we have so much in common, if you know what I mean. Fly high, Violet.

  12. I do an art and sensory camp in my yard and was perusing Pinterest for ideas when I stumbled onto site. I noticed the photo of your beautiful daughter and I began to cry. We too lost a daughter, Everly Hope, this past December. It was seven months ago but in some ways it feels just like yesterday. Similar to you, although she was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, we wanted to love her for as long as we could and decided to carry her to term. She was stillborn but the experience was life changing---both in the grieving and sadness I've experienced and also in the multitude of joy her brief little life brought. I am so glad I found your site today and keeping your family in my thoughts. Thank you also for giving me inspiration for my camp! If you have a moment to read about our story and would like to, please do.

  13. I get all choked up every time I read about Violet. Violet is the same age as my Gracie. You are doing wonderful honoring her and remembering her. No one is really gone until the last time someone speaks their name. She will not be forgotten.

  14. Angels go to Sky!

  15. My daughter, Violet was born December 2014. She was born with a rare genetic disorder. We thought we would get to keep her but she died in her sleep April 2015. I can't believe that this is my life...the rest of my life missing and grieving my sweet Violet!

  16. I just came across your notes on sensory play and read your story about your story about your daughter Violet. What a beautiful and sad story. She was a beautiful little girl and now a beautiful angel. May she always be with you!

  17. Today is my Birthday. I'm struggling with My Nephews death 10 years ago. He was killed and I found him on the road dead. My son is not in a good place and I prayed for a sign this morning letting me know that everything will be ok with my Son. I went to Wendy's drive through for lunch and the person in front of me paid for my lunch and the cashier gave me the slip that this was a random act of kindness in honor of Violet. Violet and my Nephew are together letting me know that all will be well. They are our angels! Thank you!!

  18. My heart goes out to you. It does not matter if it has been a day, a year, 5 or more you are always going to miss and love that beautiful girl. All you can do is keep her spirit alive by living your life to the fullest. Make everyday count, offer them up to her. She is here with you, she loves you, and one day you will see that angelic face again. God Bless You!!!